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April 29 2006 - I'm In Africa
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I'm here in the African Bush, living with the monkeys. I arrived in a state of nervous and physical exhaustion. Months of not eating properly, going to bed at dawn, etc finally caught up with me, so I've been given a few days to get myself together and finally - tomorrow- I shall begin work with the monkeys. When I arrived I was shown to my tent in tent village. This is composed of about twelve tents and I was fortunate to get one to myself. However, the zips had broken so they had been replaced with velcro which proved to be a very unsatisfactory substitute. When I returned from supper, pulled the Velcro apart and cautiously entered, I was met by two large toads, a slug and a large pool of water on the floor, which I've yet to identify. Two of the other girls got rid of the slug, the toads (and the pooh they had deposited on my bed), bid me goodnight and left me to spend my first night in the bush. I climbed into my sleeping bag, lay on the mattress which was my bed and knew I had made the biggest mistake of my life. I wanted to go home like never before. Tears I had held in all day streamed down my face, I couldn't remember the last time I had felt so alone. Suddenly the velcro'd opening crackled - it sounded like a pistol shot - and in bounded one of the many dogs who live at the sanctuary. After my heart resumed its normal rhythm and I had velcro'd the opening once more, I looked at the dog (Candy), she looked at me and finally I settled down for what remained of the night. Never had I been so glad of company, ticks, fleas and all. The next obstacle to be overcome was the bush loo. It's eco-friendly and is a deep hole in the ground. At the bottom of this deep hole are worms which apparently do wonderful things with all they receive from the human sitters (there is a seat), but at 3am this knowledge provided no comfort at all. I unvelcro'd my tent to open it, revelcro'd it to close it, a process which took at least ten minutes, picked my way through grass and undergrowth, sweat pouring off me at the prospect of stepping on a snake, took hold of my fertile imagination and made it to the thatched enclosure where I pee'd for England, then picked my way back, went through the entire velcro process again and knew there had to be another way. I now have a bucket in my tent and feel 100% better. The next problem to be solved was my tent. The velcro just didn't provide sufficient protection from predators so I've been given a brand new one. It's single occupancy and the size of a doll's house. I can't stand up straight in it and my outstretched arms touch the sides. But... it has ZIPS! I feel secure and last night slept like a baby. Last night I sat outside with one of the permanent staff, a boy of 19 who has worked with the monkeys for several years. He knows all 700 of them by name and has a fierce love for them. When I arrived here and first met him I felt an instant connection with him. As we sat and looked at the stars he suddenly turned to me and said 'The monkeys told me you were coming. They said you were a precious one and I am to take care of you.' I knew before I came here that the experience would be powerful and now I understand why. I still carry deep wounds from my childhood and years of therapy have not healed them but the monkeys will, because the monkeys are magic. And magic is what I need.
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