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December 20 2006 - What A Week!
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Life in Africa is never boring! The rain last week made me realize that it was time to buy a new tent. The zips finally went on my original one so off I went into Tzaneen to see if I could purchase one that afforded a little more protection. I found one, went back, and got some of the boys to put it up for me. Then I was offered another position which is outside of tent village and deeper into the bush. I decided to go for it, so the boys took my tent down, re-established it and retained their good humour throughout. I loved the new position which afforded me privacy and solitude, and being surrounded by nothing but Nature suited me to a T. I had one neighbour, Robyn and that was it. It took me almost a week to get myself sorted, and I breathed a huge sigh of relief as I finally leaned back against my pillows to observe the fruits of my labour. I decided to celebrate my new home by painting my toenails, which had been in an appalling state for longer than I cared to remember. Two coats of 'sugar baby pink' later and I was cooking with gas! I looked around my new home and breathed a huge sigh of contentment: night lights gave a warm glow, and a nightcap of gin and tonic was the icing on the cake. Sleep beckoned, so I reached for the bottle of nail polish remover I had used earlier, in order to put on the cap. I misjudged the distance and knocked over the bottle which fell into one of my night lights... and my new home went up like a rocket. I immediately threw a blanket over the flames, having read somewhere that this was the appropriate action to take in such circumstances; but I think the fact that the blanket was made of polyester was in hindsight probably not the wisest of choices... Realizing that assistance might be a good idea I started shouting for help while continuing to beat at the flames with a polyester eiderdown, which exploded on contact with the flames releasing several million white feathers. By this time Robyn had appeared and had the good sense to shout for water and haul me from the blazing interior. I should have mentioned that I was stark naked at the time and as the occupants of tent village rocked up with water in various containers, they were met by the sight of a naked and slightly frazzled Miss Jackson (which is what everyone here calls me) being clasped to the comfort of Robyn's bosom. The cavalry were magnificent, and some kind soul put a sleeping bag around my shoulders and led me up to tent village where I was given a mug of steaming coffee and a cigarette, both of which I enjoyed like never before. I wept for about ten minutes, then laughed like a drain; I mean in such circumstances what else can a girl do? So, I'm now homeless and facing the prospect of starting all over again. No, of course I didn't have insurance, my friends would use many adjectives to describe me, but I doubt 'sensible' would be one of them! Cathy offered me the use of her tent for the night and Indy decided to stay with me to make sure I didn't suffer from delayed shock. Just before we left for our respective tents, Indy looked down at my feet and howled with laughter. 'Oh! Miss Jackson' she said, 'look at your feet'! I had left my tent wearing nothing but a pair of toe separators, which I had neglected to remove after painting my nails. The boys had been magnificent. Although the tent was useless they had dragged out as many of my possessions as possible. My monkey clothes were rubbished, but my 'good' clothes they managed to salvage. The greatest loss was my make-up bag, which contained several items by Chanel and Lanc™me, which I had treated myself to at duty free when I left England. But at least my toenails were painted 'sugar baby pink'. I could face the world as long as I was heavily veiled and wearing flip-flops. Phew! The next day, Robyn having realized she was neighbour to a possible pyromaniac decided to move back into tent village... Freddie drove me into town the next morning to purchase a new tent. They had no more of the one I had just decimated, so I chose another which the salesman assured me was only a teensy bit smaller than my original tent, and I believed him and promptly purchased it. The boys erected it for me, but once it was up and running so to speak, it became very obvious that it was half the size of my previous tent. I convinced myself that it was fine, moved in last night, woke up this morning and could no longer deceive myself that I was a happy bunny. So... Freddie drove me into town again, I explained the situation to the salesman and he said that if I returned the tent that would be fine, and sold me a larger one which was, he assured me exactly what I needed. The boys proceeded to put it up for me and it's the size of several ballrooms. Great! Except my shade net, (essential in this climate) of which I was particularly fond proved to be too small to go over it. So, I now have a tent with one room in which I sleep, live, etc., and a patio the same size as the living room, with mosquito netting around the sides. The boys put my pavilion shaped shade net in front of the patio bit and I'm almost all set. I just have to purchase some ordinary shade netting, the boys will put posts in the ground to support it and by this time next week, I should be all set! But... something wonderful happened later in the week. The orphans have started to arrive and we now have about eight tiny monkeys to look after, and I have one all to MYSELF! She was two or three days old when she arrived, (mummy having been shot) and I decided, as she's mummy's little angel, to call her Angel. Last night we spent our first night together and I can't wait to repeat the experience. This tiny little creature tucked herself under my chin and fell asleep, and apart from wanting her bottle around 3am slept like the angel she is until 6am when we both got up, made our way to tent village, me to have a cup of coffee and Angel to have her bottom washed! So I'm 63 today, and finally I'm a MUMMY!
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