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March 30 2007 - Back Where I Belong!
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Before I go any further I must apologise for the time lapse since my last blog; my few weeks in London passed so quickly and of course there was so much to do! So, please forgive me, and know that I shall revert to my usual 10-day turnaround now that the madness of my previous life no longer claims so much of my time. I'm one of those people who when presented with a form to fill in immediately loses the will to live, and as I was required to fill in several of the little mothers prior to my return to Africa I finally left England clinging onto life by the tips of what remains of my finger nails. The flat looked as though several bombs had hit it, and all my good intentions to be organised and packed at least a week prior to departure failed to materialise. This was due in part to Vicki's 60th birthday celebration which seemed to occupy the entire week - certainly the final weekend of my stay. Most of the festivities took place in my flat, as Vick is still having a lot of work done on the house and appears to be constantly up to her tits with builders, plumbers, carpenters etc., etc., so we tend to use mine for entertaining. If I said I never wanted to see champagne or smoked salmon again as long as I live, I would be lying through my recently acquired pearly whites, but a break of at least a couple of days seems to be called for. Leaving the flat was a nightmare, my case refused to close minutes before the taxi taking me to Paddington station was due to arrive, and in situations such as this, I panic! Clothes were thrown out of the case with reckless abandon, black rubbish bags littered the floor, the 'phone wouldn't stop ringing, I couldn't find my ticket and passport and I wanted nothing more than to be able to say, 'beam me up Scotty' or 'teleport', secure in the knowledge that such an event would occur. It didn't! Somehow, I managed to close the suitcase, find the ticket and passport, lock the front door and hurl myself into the cab, where nervous exhaustion finally took over and I burst into tears. I continued to cry all the way to Paddington, on the Heathrow express and at the check-in desk at the airport. The situation wasn't helped by being told that I owed £300.00 in excess baggage. Two very kind girls from SA Airlines took me by the hand and led me to a luggage shop where I purchased a carry-on bag, which they helped me pack thus reducing my payment from £300.00 to £60.00. I finally boarded the 'plane and continued to cry all the way to Jo'burg and was still crying when I finally reached the house of a dear friend who immediately popped me into bed where I fell into a profound slumber from which I awoke bright eyed and bushy tailed this morning. I'm now on the bus taking me to Tzaneen, my babies, my friends, my tent and my SANCTUARY! I can hardly believe that in a few short hours, I shall see Felix, Maroela, and the rest of the gang! But as I look out of the window of the bus, and see the clear blue skies, the mountains, and vivid yellow flowers growing wild on the side of roads I know that I'm back where I belong, in my beloved Africa. I accept fully and finally, that I am unsuited to urban life; I quite simply don't understand it. I loathe the importance that is given to so much that I consider trivial and banal, I deplore the insidious big brother society that is growing daily, I resent being photographed by hidden cameras from the moment I leave my house until the moment I return. And I am deeply saddened that boys of fifteen are killing each other on the streets of London. Saddened but not surprised; appalling poverty sits side by side with great wealth, the rich continue to get richer and the poor continue to get poorer and the middle classes continue to be hit financially every time they turn around. And for what? Bricks and mortar, cars, possessions that are intended to provide us with greater freedom, but are in fact our prisons. We attach so much importance to our physical security, that we have forgotten, if indeed we ever knew, that security comes from within, not without, and the moral and spiritual void in which we now live has to be addressed, but how and by whom I cannot say. Unless we all accept responsibility for our own actions, genuinely care for our fellow man and all that lives on this magnificent planet, and are motivated by love not money, we're in huge danger of being fucked, big time. Money in itself is neutral; we give it its power... So, on that happy note, I shall now give my full attention to the remainder of my journey - the signs for Tzaneen will start to appear shortly - and when I'm in my tent tonight, looking at the stars through the mosquito net, I shall weep for joy, knowing that I am home, that I have found what I believe we are all looking for; the place where I truly belong. And, yes, I do know how very fortunate and blest I am to have done so. Take care my darlings; I send such love from me and my monkeys. x
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